Baby's first Christmas

So this was my first Christmas away from my family in, well, forever. I've always been home. We have a very predictable set of traditions: on Christmas eve, we eat dinner, go to church, open gifts, eat cookies and have a birthday cake for Jesus. Then, on Christmas, we open stocking, go over to our grandparents, eat the most magical meal ever, and open gifts with them. It's familiar and warm and wonderful and not stressful and the best. Oh! And most importantly, it's always cold for Christmas! I mean, maybe not so much this year, but on Christmas's past, you could find me curled up on my favorite chair with my dog, a book, and some tea.

Not this year. This year, I was sweaty and stressed and sad. I ate about 27 cookies by myself in the span of 5 days. I cried lots and wrote a really terribly rhymed poem to send to some friends and spent lots of time watching Monk. And it wasn't even cold. Nothing about the season felt like Christmas.

On Christmas eve, I had to go to immigration and extend my visa. After a series of unfortunate events, including grabbing my roommates passport instead of mine, I was approved for the extension to stay in Thailand but still have to return on Monday for the official signature. Upon returning home, I proceeded to have a mental breakdown and spend the evening crying alone.

On Christmas morning, I woke up to make breakfast for everyone, which is noteworthy because it was my first time cooking a meal for a large group and I'd been busily preparing all week. I bought all the ingredients, ground the coffee, checked the cooking time and oven temperatures to gage when I should start. Half of the frittatas were baking when I went to cut the bread for french toast. However, an army of ants had set up camp in the three loaves of bread I left in the cabinet. Fighting off the urge to cry and order McDonald's, I woke my lovely, lifesaving roommate up and asked her to go to the store for me to buy the ingredients for my Grandma's famous coffee cake.

She returned with butter and bacon and the plan was back in action. The frittatas were beautiful and soon, the kitchen filled with the smells of sweet cinnamon as the coffee cake baked. At 10o'clock we sat down to eat! As a friend cut into the frittatas and I sliced up the coffee cake, we discovered that the middle of the dishes were uncooked. After all the planning that went into this breakfast, we still had to wait another hour until everything was done and cooked through! While I learned a valuable lesson to check the middle of dishes to make sure they're cooked through, I'm thankful for my gracious, patient friends.

Christmas was weird so say the least. It was sad and hard and produced a lot of tears. But it was also one for the books. Despite not being with my family, I still felt loved and laughed a lot and danced to Justin Bieber. Everything turned out okay and every one survived. And regardless of where it's celebrated, Christmas is a reminder of Jesus anyways and his birth was certainly not perfect and his parents were far from their home too so I guess the Christmas story takes on a whole new meaning for me. Merry Christmas everyone.

You actually do have to eat your broccoli

So I was going to take a nap today and then I didn't. Instead, I wrote some emails, read a book, make food, and wrote this post.

"But those tasks sound so boring! And mundane! Why would you deprive your body of sleep over a few emails and spilling your feelings to all of humanity!?" -- Your current inner monolog, if I'm guessing correctly.

And fear not, your thoughts are not incorrect. However, there are just some things you have to do. It's like when you were a kid and your parents told you you HAVE to eat your broccoli. Well, as a struggling adult, I have some other "broccolis" I have to "eat" :

• clean the bathroom- possibility the most necessary but gross task ever. 
• take a shower- a daily task that I will avoid by any means possible. 
• move my body- it helps the creative process, boosts my mood, and keeps me healthy.
• study- Thai all day, every day.
• get a hobby- I don't ever want to be a boring person.
• volunteer- giving back makes my heart happy and give me purpose. Believe me, I'm only giving of my time for self-gratification, not for the betterment of society. 
• call my family and friends- I don't like getting up early or staying awake late so if you get a call, know that it means I love you a lot. I'm sacrificing sleep time.
• be alone- like unplugged alone, reading, writing, sitting, etc.
• eat balanced, mindful meals- this may include the actual consumption of broccoli 
• DANCE- nothing solves anxiety like a solo dance party! 

This all may seem silly but it's actually super helpful! Once you're a free range human with no more school or parents giving you rules or boundaries, you get to draw them yourself so that means you have to be strategic! What are the tasks that are life giving, what things should you stop doing (like eating a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's or is that just me?), and what do you need to add to your life? Sitting down and naming your grown up versions of broccoli is helpful. It allows you to prioritize your time and, moreover, sheds light on what your personal values are. You only have 24 hours a day so make it count! Don't do things you don't like but also make sure you do something! Sure, you can just exist but don't you want life to be meaningful? And the best part is that everyone's definition of meaningful is different which gives the world so many wonderful types of humans! Now, go eat your broccoli and make the world a better place.

This creepy broccoli puppet is now my life's mascot. Thanks google!

A trip to Chiang Rai and some rest

 Rest.

Recuperate.

Create space.

Create space for recovery.

Discovery.

Imagination.

Take time to explore every crevice of your mind.

Let the vastness of your thoughts leave you in awe.

Get out. Get away. Leave. Flee.

Say goodbye to the day-in’s and day-out’s of life and take

A

Break.

Come back refreshed.

Come back a conqueror.

Come back ready to fight through the drudgery of the everyday.

Fight the idea that rest come with the weekends or exotic get-a-ways.

Fight the idea that you are not strong, not worthy, not able.

You are strong.

Worthy.

Able.

When you find your rest in Him.

Rest is a privilege. Be mindful of this as we entire in to this advent season. This time of preparation before celebrating the miracle of Christ's birth.