I see you.

I have the greatest friends. Yesterday, after running around in search of a new phone for one of my dear friends, we were finally on our way back to campus. I was tired from a long work day and cranky from lack of food. All I wanted was to be in my apartment, covered in a warm blanket.
As we were walking, she said some very wise and true words.
"I think the best thing Jesus says to us is, 'I see you.'"
I see you.
I see through your masks.
I see through your scars.
I see through your pain.
I see through your past and see the person you will become.
I see your potential.
I see your real worth, not your worth determined by the world, but you REAL worth as determined by me.

Last night, my friend saw through my tiredness and grumpy attitude and saw true friendship, because you're a real friend when you spend Friday night at a Verizon store.

But, even greater that her love for me is God's love for me. And for all of us.
He sees through me. He sees through my false identities, my searching for belonging, and my wayward stumbles. He sees that I am looking for a higher purpose and acceptance. God sees me and chooses to love me, pursue me, and cherish me. Oh how great is His love!

6AM

I woke up at 6am this morning. There was no particular reason; my brain wouldn't shut off so I swung my feet onto the floor and decided to make the best of it.

Here's how to best use one's time when waking at 6am:

First, make a pot of coffee.
Stare at the sun as it rises. 

Contemplate making a smoothie but settle for chocolate chip pancakes. Homemade, of course. 

Eat breakfast and read the bible. Joel is more interesting when you're still half asleep.

Ponder life's difficult questions. Spend time mulling over past mistakes. Wish you could change them but shrug and move on.

Journal about said thoughts.

Listen to music and attempt to write essay. Settle for writing thank you's instead.

Wash face and put on real clothes.

Realize that Facebook is stupid and vow to never get on again.

Try to read book for class.

Get on Facebook and immediately hate yourself.

Do laundry.

Organize your collection of tea. 

Respond to over-do emails.

Buy a concert ticket.

Lament about how you wish you had more money.

Be grateful for what you have.

Choreograph an interpretive dance.  

Louth the wind.

Plan out your impossible crazy day.

Decide the world needs to know about your epic morning.

Blog.

Brush teeth.

Become presentable to the world.

Run to class and hope not to be late.

Boxes.

Happy news: I have been blessed with the chance to stay in Chicago this summer! When my co-worker told me, I jumped up and down while screaming for a solid ten minutes. The kids thought I was crazy (what's new), but I was (and still am) elated. However, this means that I will (fingers crossed) no longer live at home in Nebraska! It's so excited and bittersweet at the same time.
Since it's a quite Monday, I figured I might as well go through the mounds of boxes under my bed and throw away all the old notes, camp devotionals, and memories from middle and high school. Let me tell  you, this is not an easy task. How do I know what to save and to throw away? What is actually important? The arm of my old stuffed animal? An encouraging letter from a past camp counselor  The award letters from speech meets? Has my life boiled down to a few old boxes?
Honestly, I cannot bring myself to keep the boxes of speech critiques and worn, marked up scripts, even though I put my life and soul into perfecting them each new season. It's the wonderful notes and letters from old church friends, middle school classmates and family that make this so difficult. I do not sit and read each card on a consistant bases, but it is amazing and wonderful to have these momentos. These people helped me through hard times, supported me in every life change, and loved me during all my awkward stages. (And there was most definitely more than one!) And, the best part is, they continue to support me in all my new life adventures!