Why me.

Earlier I today I wrote this cute little blog post on how I was so scared yet excited that exactly one month from today is my departure date. It was full of warm feelings and bible verses and reminders that God has everything under control and I'm going to be okay because He uses my weakness to bring His purpose into action.

Sound too good to be true? Cause it sure feels like it.

The skyline seen on my daily commute. Soon to be replaced.

As the day progresses, I am not feeling excited. I don't care all that much that God works in spite of my weakness. And the idea of moving abroad is less glamorous and way more terrifying and, in reality, I don't want to do it.

My life here is amazing. I have friends, a church home, steady income, a caring community, and easy access to family. I have favorite restaurants and an amazing public library and wi-fi that doesn't cut out and not too many weird bugs. I love my life and I can see God working in me here, in Chicago- the city I adore. So why does He have to uproot me and take me across the world? Can't He keep fixing me right here in Chicago?

And very honestly, I have no idea why He's calling me to Thailand, to work with Word Made Flesh and their community in Bangkok. I can't answer that questions right now. But what I know is that God is inviting me to go. The past year's growth has allowed me to arrive at a place of recognizing His will for my life and obeying. So that's what I'm doing, even when I just don't want to.