Simplicity is discipline y'all

Okay, so much life has happened and I really got to crazy distracted to write about it. You know that feeling when you scroll though all your old pictures in iPhoto and suddenly 2 hours have passed? Or is that just something I do? Anyway, that’s what this past month has felt like. One moment I’m 3 days away from getting on a plane to America and suddenly it’s April 25^th and I’ve been back for more than a week and wow where has time gone.

So let’s catch up.

Alright, so I land in Omaha and I have the world’s CUTEST greeting party waiting for me at the gate. Becca, my grandparents, mother, father, and sibs showed up to engulf me in the most epic reunion hug. And, the next day, Elise flew in from Bloomington for Easter. Hashtag literally blessed. I’ll spare you the actual details of the trip (but if you want to know what I did, just message me and I’ll give you a play-by-play) so here’s the lowdown. Becca my life long friend got married and I was honored to stand in her wedding party as she pledged her love and life for the man of her dreams or whatever they are a cute couple and the dancing was amazing. And I got to spend 5 days in Chicago and it was the happiest and saddest time of my life and I wore a coat most of the time and saw all the marvelous friend and caught up with pals from high school and had Quality family time and I really am blessed to have such fantastic cheerleaders in my parents. Despite our differences, I love and respect mom and dad and that was definitely the highlight- being able to spend grown-up time with them and have quality conversations and like do day-to-day life alongside them.

But more than that, I learned that simplicity is a discipline.

Doing adult things.

The most perfect bride in all the land!

The gang is back together!

Right now I’m forced into a life of simplicity simply because my income is minuscule, my apartment is small, and we have like the world’s smallest pantry. But in the States, simplicity is a more intimidating challenge. It’s the drudgery of choosing to consciously live it out despite rubbing up against the norm of consumerism. Let’s just say I did not choose a simple life for those 3 weeks at home. I was busy all the time, on my iPod much more than necessary, and took hardly any time for personal and spiritual formation. I was chatting with a dear friend today about this- she wants to start being off her phone and social media more during the day- and I commented that being simple in the States is a whole other battle. Like no, you don’t have to be glued to your phone and answer every message immediately. You don’t have to watch TV every night and you can choose into having meaningful communication with those you’re living with. Simplicity in Thailand is easy, however, in my comfortable American life, it's an uphill battle- one I did not prepare for and fell victim to.

Now, I’m not saying that having things is bad and phones are the demise and I certainly love watching TV but isn’t time to stop numbing pains with excess? I know for me, when I feel inadequate, I numb the pain with TV, glorifying busyness, eat a little too much, and buying things I don't need. Cause if I feel I physically HAVE enough,  I don’t have to for a second face the fear of not BEING enough.

Facing my fear is scary. I don’t like it for its uncomfortable and messy and hard. But at some point your computer dies, the cloths get worn out, the friends return home and you have to face the human in the mirror. Why are you hiding?

Simplicity is the first step towards answering this question. It clears out all the outside noise and clutter and creates the space, literally and figuratively, to figure you out. I know I got caught off guard and ended up watching the entire 5^th season of New Girl in 2 weeks instead of having significant Jesus time or journaling or I don’t know just having silence to think and create and process the fact that I was back in America.

Now that I’m back in my slower pace of life, I’ve had ample space and time to think thought all the things and man I feel incredible centered and have an actual handle on life. I’m sober-minded, can actually hear my intuition and make a discerned decision.

I’m thankful to have learned this about myself; next time I fly over the Atlantic I’ll be better disciplined to the distractions. And know to bring my own food for the flight over.