Weird things to do on your own: an ode to extroverts

Things that are slightly terrifying, perhaps a little strange to the outside world and potentially the worst of your and extrovert to do on your own:

Go to a bar and order a drink

Go to the movies

Live without a roommate

Travel

Browsing museums

Eating out in restaurants

This solo-outing game has been a new challenge since I moved here/will be something that’s a challenge for an extrovert for the rest of my life/something my introverted friends are amazing at. Keep it up guys- we need more people like you to model different types of self-care!

I started my solo-self journey officially when I drove up to Bloomington, IN in 2015. The whole family was celebrating Esther together at Elise’s little house and Mom and Dad rented a car for me! Honestly, I picked the most obscure places to stop at along the route- the John Deer museum, an old candy store-turned bar that was suppose to be famous but I don’t remember for what, some awesome robot graffiti and, my favorite, the Indiana State Dunes. It was an empowering little trip because I had to spend 10 hours in a car alone and it was all up to me of what I would do and see during this trip! Not actually that impressive perhaps but this was a first step in the solo-outing game.

The first of a long series of self-timer solo shots! Yay Indiana Dunes!

Since moving to Bangkok, I’ve lived alone (it was scary and not fun), traveled to and around India by myself (and planning another solo trip to Vietnam because it’s actually a blast being able to choose your own adventure), gone to the movies on my own (which I’m not sure what took me so long to get to this place because going to the movies is the most freeing like you can be sure as hell I cried the entire length of Finding Dory), eaten alone (mostly just eating street food alone but there have been a handful of solo nicer restaurant visits), browsed museums, art galleries, and wats without an adventure buddy and just last night I grabbed a drink at a super hip bar alone and ignored all the pity stares because guess what I am confident to know that being alone doesn’t define or dictate my value as a human or as a woman.

Being alone in the sense of being single is really not a looming sense of doom in the same way that being alone because your friends are busy, your roommate has moved back to America, and you don’t have someone to hang out with. Can all my extroverts relate to this?! I get sort of panicky and flustered when my biggest desire is to be with people and the circumstances just don’t line up. And it feels even worse when all you need is people and see a bunch of buds hanging out on Instagram can I get an amen for the FOMO! 

But seriously, I think it’s crucial to become comfortable in your own skin- to learn more yourself, have solo dance parties (thanks for in inspiration Erin!), and create new memories or experiences where it’s just you. I think it sets you up for success down the road because first off you have a killer sense of confident and self-worth and second you stop seeing people as fillers or bodies or conversations and start to see them as their own individual entity. I know when I feel the need to be with people, this desire to connect to someone can overshadow their personality and quirks and all the other awesome stuff that makes me want to be their friend because all I’m focused on is hearing myself talk. But when I check my intention and keep my extroverted self in line, I find I am able to remember more about their live/what we talked about last time, ask more in-depth questions, and just be fully present at the conversation AND I leave feeling totally filled.

Being alone is hard (maybe not as hard for introverts? Tell me what it’s like for you!) and being alone makes you strong because you there’s no one around to hide behind and you have to deflect all the strange stares from other people like I’m still fabulous leave me alone with my book and plate of food. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a brunch date with myself. Cheers!